11 Comments

Thanks for your mahi tackling this, Anna. A shame that it still seems to be mainly (only?) women addressing issues of men’s violence.

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It seems that way, doesn't it? This is a particularly hard issue to engage, too - the more I dug into it, the more complex it became.

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This is a brilliant piece, Anna. I wanted to give you a reference to my Broadsheet article about a notorious NZ case of manslaughter. Auckland University has digitised the whole run of Broadsheet, and this used to be freely available online. It is not available anywhere else. But to my intense anger, I have just discovered that access to it has now been restricted to Auckland University staff and students.

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Argh, that's super frustrating. I'd love to read it. I wonder if it's possible to OIA it? But it raises some questions about the university not acting in the public interest. Might be worth writing to the VC?

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This is so good! Your work is always amazing, so well researched and thoughtful

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Appreciate that - thank you!

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Thank you for bravery in venturing into this difficult terrain. I appreciated your delicacy, compassion and insight

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Thanks so much for reading. I know I ask a lot of readers with pieces like this, and I always feel gratitude when people engage.

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I'm so glad I've found your writing again ❤️

Thank you for all the tears that went into this, as well as the research, the thinking. We mourn the dead and keep fighting for the living.

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Thank you Anna for the thorough and thoughtful piece. I have been wondering about the idea of whether we are always entitled to have the sex we want. Obviously we don't want to fall into paternalism etc.. but there are some ways of relating to each other that are bad for us as a society. I don't mean to say that BDSM should be illegal, but I do think further nuanced reflection on the rising prevalence of an rough sex is probably necessary.

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I don't think Melody Thomas' ideas regarding BDSM or kink taking place in a strong community where consent is highly valued is true anymore. The proliferation and ease of access of online pornography who's algorithms push people to more extreme content has changed the demographics of who practices rough sex dramatically.

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