This isn't a thing I was expecting to write - and truly, you've got New Zealand First to thank. Welcome to my unplanned memoir of toilets, mates, being a woman, and my love for my transgender kid.
Beautifully written, mesmerising read and I learned so much about why women have to queue for inadequate bathroom facilities. Because I'm impatient type and sometimes can't wait in a queue as long as I would need to, I just go to the mens. They are always surprised, some are shocked and there is always a cubicle immediately available. By the time I come back out and am washing my hands they've sort of got over themselves.... maybe we should all do this and help Kiwi men join the 2020s.
Yup I do that too SallyT. I just pretend โmove along -thereโs nothing to see hereโ cos When youโve got to go, youโve got to go aye? Rather that than the other. xx
This whole situation makes me livid. We are having to fight battles that we thought were won nearly a generation ago. This reminded me of the dire toilet situation in the Aotea Centre at the writers festival last weekend. Here's what I posted on Bluesky at the time:
Highly enjoyable writers festival talk with Bonnie Garmus. Afterwards, faced with the snaking Ladies queue, my friend swerved into the Men's instead. Older guy following her in said, "You come with me. Don't worry about Winston" ๐ He must've been one of those ally types from Lessons in Chemistry
A very though provoking read. Thank you Anna. I had no idea of the historical element around women's toilets. Who knew! Not sure why I was surprised, as women are still battling for equity in other areas.
Thank you so so much for this extremely important, and beautifully written, piece. This subject hits very close to home for me. I could not loathe Winston Peters more.
A very thoughtful piece and what a lovely poolside ending. Brought tears to my eyes.
After living in the U.K. for many years, and traveling in Europe fairly often, it was heartening when I returned home to discover again how many public toilets there are in Aotearoa! Sometimes it felt like train stations were the only places with toilets in the U.K. and Europe, but usually you have to pay (often an annoying amount of cash only) to use them. (Or trains themselves mostly have WCs!) Preparing and thinking ahead about where WCs can be found was often sensible.
However, as an architect, I am well aware the U.K. has much better guidance (sometimes requirements) for how many WCs a new building should includeโฆ unlike here. And I have heard that that MBIE webpage with guidance on the provision of WCs for new buildings is a highly accessed one!
Really interesting perspective, thank you. I didn't go there this time - it's such a big topic - but I'd love to understand the international comparison a bit better. I did notice a Kiwi academic called Bill McKay has been in the media on this stuff. You might be interested in his reckons.
I support toilets available for transgender or binary kiddies or people, having said that if in dire need and there is a queue - I will be in that loo at the speed of a freshly shorn sheep coming out of a shearing shed! I hope no one will mind.
A phenomenal piece of writing Anna! Thanks so much for this. Spark Arena in Tฤmaki needs sorting out too. 50/50 split toilets arenโt necessarily appropriate for female heavy events let alone no gender neutral facilities
What an amazing article- I wish I could write like you Anna! As a mother of a gender diverse kid this particularly resounds with me. Itโs also lovely to hear about the baby who is now a grown up young man that I had the honour of witnessing coming into this world that crazy day so long ago ๐ Melissa (nee Hofmann )
Beautifully written, mesmerising read and I learned so much about why women have to queue for inadequate bathroom facilities. Because I'm impatient type and sometimes can't wait in a queue as long as I would need to, I just go to the mens. They are always surprised, some are shocked and there is always a cubicle immediately available. By the time I come back out and am washing my hands they've sort of got over themselves.... maybe we should all do this and help Kiwi men join the 2020s.
Ha, I do the same, but I've never been brave enough with actual blokes in there.
Seriously, they just freak out and some even scatter ๐ It works out fine!
Yup I do that too SallyT. I just pretend โmove along -thereโs nothing to see hereโ cos When youโve got to go, youโve got to go aye? Rather that than the other. xx
This whole situation makes me livid. We are having to fight battles that we thought were won nearly a generation ago. This reminded me of the dire toilet situation in the Aotea Centre at the writers festival last weekend. Here's what I posted on Bluesky at the time:
Highly enjoyable writers festival talk with Bonnie Garmus. Afterwards, faced with the snaking Ladies queue, my friend swerved into the Men's instead. Older guy following her in said, "You come with me. Don't worry about Winston" ๐ He must've been one of those ally types from Lessons in Chemistry
Love this. That guy's a legend!
A very though provoking read. Thank you Anna. I had no idea of the historical element around women's toilets. Who knew! Not sure why I was surprised, as women are still battling for equity in other areas.
It's interesting, eh? โค๏ธ
Thank you so so much for this extremely important, and beautifully written, piece. This subject hits very close to home for me. I could not loathe Winston Peters more.
You and me both. What a time to be alive. ๐
A very thoughtful piece and what a lovely poolside ending. Brought tears to my eyes.
After living in the U.K. for many years, and traveling in Europe fairly often, it was heartening when I returned home to discover again how many public toilets there are in Aotearoa! Sometimes it felt like train stations were the only places with toilets in the U.K. and Europe, but usually you have to pay (often an annoying amount of cash only) to use them. (Or trains themselves mostly have WCs!) Preparing and thinking ahead about where WCs can be found was often sensible.
However, as an architect, I am well aware the U.K. has much better guidance (sometimes requirements) for how many WCs a new building should includeโฆ unlike here. And I have heard that that MBIE webpage with guidance on the provision of WCs for new buildings is a highly accessed one!
Sorry, I did mean to say: from a male perspective and totally appreciate itโs much worse for other genders.
Really interesting perspective, thank you. I didn't go there this time - it's such a big topic - but I'd love to understand the international comparison a bit better. I did notice a Kiwi academic called Bill McKay has been in the media on this stuff. You might be interested in his reckons.
Loved your story.
Thank you for reading! ๐
This may be the best article yet Anna.
I support toilets available for transgender or binary kiddies or people, having said that if in dire need and there is a queue - I will be in that loo at the speed of a freshly shorn sheep coming out of a shearing shed! I hope no one will mind.
Thank you so much. ๐
A phenomenal piece of writing Anna! Thanks so much for this. Spark Arena in Tฤmaki needs sorting out too. 50/50 split toilets arenโt necessarily appropriate for female heavy events let alone no gender neutral facilities
Yes! That's a great point. ๐
This is so beautiful Anna thank you
Thank you as always for your support, friend. xo
What an amazing article- I wish I could write like you Anna! As a mother of a gender diverse kid this particularly resounds with me. Itโs also lovely to hear about the baby who is now a grown up young man that I had the honour of witnessing coming into this world that crazy day so long ago ๐ Melissa (nee Hofmann )
Kia ora! Solidarity, and I hope your kiddo is doing good.